We always say when we walk around a supermarket that you can spot a newborn parent. There's a mum gently swaying with her trolley (with no baby in it) because it's become quite normal to rock back and forwards as if you are at sea. Then there's a dad at the checkout who appears to be sleeping with his eyes open, getting 20 seconds of rest whilst the kind checkout person offers to help pack the bags. You head into parenthood knowing it's going to be tiring. Everyone joked when I was waddling like a penguin at 8 months pregnant, "Get those lie-ins in while you can, kiss goodbye to those full nights of sleep!"

What we didn't expect was that, 6 years down the line, we would feel just as exhausted as those early days! Ok, so we are not up pacing the hallway, singing lullabies and squirting milk onto our forearms, leaving little splodges all over the carpet, but almost every night we hear a little cry, sometimes a whimper, sometimes a scream, followed by a thud as one or both of the boys clamber out of bed and head to us.

Our boys have never been – what I have enviously read about others' children – "good sleepers". Since we moved last September, I can probably count on one hand how many nights they have slept for a solid 8 or so hours. I worry when they stay over with grandparents that they will wake with a nightmare and Sammy is missing out on sleepovers with his friends because we just don't trust that he wouldn't need us to drive over in the middle of the night to settle him. And sleep deprivation does horrible things to you, doesn't it?! Suddenly you want to cry at the foot of the stairs when you realise you've dropped a sock from the pile of washing in your arms back up on the top step. Little things just tip you over the edge. We become a house of crocodiles all snapping at each other, Rich and I competing for the coveted title of 'Most Tired 2015'. Of course there's no prize for the winner, but still we spar back and forwards over how many times each of us got up to tuck them back in, who had one of them snuggled into us, running their cold feet up and down your calves at 3am, and who got relegated to their bed in the attic room. 

And then when I'm lying in the darkness at 4am, stroking those floppy locks and feeling my pyjamas soaked against my skin with their tears, I realise they aren't waking up on purpose. That when you have a bad dream (last night it was about caterpillars), you just need a cuddle, a human security blanket, like puppies who curl up in a pile, sharing the comfort of hearing each other's heartbeats.

Motherhood is tough, parenthood is tough. I remember sharing those grainy selfies in the middle of the night, as a cry for help, and being so thankful for the positive comments from all the other mums and dads out there going through the same. For us those times aren't just contained to when they are poorly or a handful of odd occasions, it's almost every single night. And sleep is the one thing you can't do without! We've even tried pushing their beds together to make a big double for them but they still prefer piling in with us. Ollie loves to wriggle into the curve of your body, with his head in the crook of my arm, and Sammy would quite happily sleep on my chest every night, like a newborn. And if he creeps in without me noticing, which his stealth like feet does manage on occasions, he loves to climb on my back, like a baby turtle, to be the closest he possibly can.

So I was thrilled to be asked to represent Slumberdown this year as one of their Ambassadors, alongside 2 of my favourite bloggers Katie from Mummy Daddy Me and Tara from the Sticky Fingers Blog. I need help, we need help, but we are not sure quite what to do. We keep saying, oh Sammy is still so little at 6, he won't be wanting to sleep with his mummy when he's 13, but I'm not sure that's a sustainable answer for our broken nights! When we moved we knew it was going to be another change to deal with, another unsettled time, so we raced to redecorate their attic bedroom first, a joint big boys' room, with new bits and their favourite familiar old bits. They'd had their own rooms in our last house but wanted to share a room when we finally moved in. If you fancy a nose you can see their aeroplane bedroom tour here!

Slumberdown appreciate that there are all sorts of reasons why we have trouble sleeping. As part of their commitment to helping every family to get a better night's sleep, they teamed up with Professor Jason Ellis PHD who is the Professor of Sleep Science at Northumbria University, to bring you The Sleep Clinic. Now it may seem obvious, what we need to do to get more sleep, but do we actually do them in practise. Rich and I sit up on our phones, I regularly take one more peek at my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter feeds with the light of the screen hidden under the duvet at gone midnight. 

I'd never thought about buying us all different pillows based on the way we sleep. It hadn't crossed my mind that there are pillows specially designed for people like me who sleep on their front, or for Rich who always sleeps on his side. We use the same duvet all year round, out of habit, and it hadn't really occurred to me that changing the tog of our duvet for the changing seasons could help our tired bodies!

Over the next year we are going to be road testing the fantastic range of Slumderdown products, carrying out some family sleep challenges, I will try and keep the no make up-hair like a bird's nest first thing in the morning photos to a minimum, in the hope that we can really make a difference to our sleeping patterns. 

We use the phrase, we just can't go on like this for much longer. There's only so long we can cope with our hectic work lives, busy family weekends and the house renovations on broken sleep. We are going to test out all the advice from The Sleep Clinic, trial a week of no screens in the bedroom, (I have warned my husband this is a sleep trial, not an excuse for any funny business trial!) getting to bed earlier, ditching the mid week drinks habit we've slipped into and lots of other ideas to help settle the boys at night.

I always remember my Granny and Grandpa had feather duvets. They were so well loved, I'd notice a couple of feathers float out onto the floor every time we visited, but they just felt so sumptuous, like a luxurious cuddle from a cloud when you were tucked into bed. I love that Slumberdown have their own range of goose and duck feather quilts and pillows which, even the boys, noticed were different from their regular covers. We snapped some photos before we made up the beds and even the woofers wanted to get in the action! No no no! As much as we love you, we are not spoiling you westies with feathers in your stinky bed! Even if you are super cute. 

Make sure you follow Slumberdown on Twitter and Facebook. They have great competitions to win products for your family running all the time! 

In fact you can enter here to win new pillows and duvets for your entire family! Check the site for full terms and conditions. Good luck! I'll be hosting some fab giveaways too, so make sure you check back in soon. 

So what are your sleep problems? Do your kids sleep through? Are you one of the lucky ones?! I'd love to hear what keeps you up at night. Sometimes my head is so spinning with ideas I have to keep a pen and notepad next to me, so I don't end up with them whirring through my brain all night!

I am so happy to be part of the Slumberdown family this year, here's to hopefully finally getting our sleep issues under control! If only there were this quiet and angelic every night! 

"Mama!" "Mama!" "Mama!"

Tonight I am home alone with the boys. Rich is away overnight for work and I have two little hot bodies in their fleecy sleep suits in my bed. And whilst I am frantically tapping away on the laptop, catching up after a day out working, I hear a familiar phrase.

Poor Sammy, our big boy, the boy who in the last year has grown 3 inches, challenges his right to independence every day, and brings me to breaking point as often as he melts my heart. Poor Sammy who still suffers from horrible dreams. And the only thing that helps is to be with his Mama.

I can count on one hand the number of nights Rich and I have shared our bed all night without a boy in the last month or so.

It's not about our needs, it's about theirs. And I know some may think we are being soft, we should march them back to their beds and not indulge their behaviour but I just don't agree. They are my babies. They are not going to be crying and asking me to be their hot water bottle when they are fifteen. They won't want to wrap their legs around mine at night, rub their freezing cold feet on my calves and snuggle in, because I am the only one who can make them feel safe. 

It's a privilege to be woken up at 3am. 

It's an honour to have someone depend on you and love you so unconditionally. 

And I realise I may be on borrowed time. How many 6 year old boys call their mother Mama? I am going to hold onto mine for as long as possible. He's smart, he's wickedly funny, he's a sensitive and loving giant, wearing 8 year old clothes. He's challenging, he's feisty, his determination leaves me frustrated and infuriated at times, but I wouldn't change him.

He skips out of school. Yes skips! Runs into my arms shouting "Mama, Mama!" And as long as this period lasts I am going to embrace it. Whether I hear this cry at 3.20pm at the school gates or at 3.20am in the depth of the night. 

They won't be babies for long. They are not really babies now, but they are my babies.

I watched them this afternoon playing frisbee in the garden. I was taking some photos for a photography client outside and I put the camera down to join them. We flung this old plastic frisbee they'd found at the bottom of the garden around and were laughing at how I couldn't throw it as well as them. (Yes that old trick of suddenly forgetting how to do something.) And he stopped the game to pick up a dandelion.

To make a wish. I grabbed the camera and snapped a photo. He said he was wishing really hard, really, really hard. And those cheeks all puffed with air just blew me away. 

I have no idea what he was wishing for, but my baby, I wish I could just freeze time. To the time when you kiss me on the lips, you wrap yourself around me at night like a baby monkey, when you are in awe of my ability to sing in a Minion voice whilst watching Despicable Me, to when missing your assembly on Friday because I am working will make my heart ache. 

I look at my Mum and I think you can't surely see us as your babies, now we have babies of our own. But she must. Because they will always be our babies.

Sleep well my darling. I'll be up in a minute for a big cuddle. And it's a wonderful thing to be your hot water bottle tonight.

I am in no rush for you to grow up just yet.

I grew up in a large, noisy family. 3 children, a close relationship with my cousins and that's what I always imagined I would have when I started my own family.

My sister is my best friend and confidante and I miss my brother since he emigrated to America a few years ago. We still have an incredibly close relationship despite the thousands of miles of ocean between us and Face Time has been a god send. 

Of course we bickered and argued as children, but I have extremely fond memories of my childhood. Mass games of 40/40 in the garden, birthday parties unlike any other, magical holidays in Southbourne with our cousins. And I love watching my boys follow almost the same path. 

They love traditional games, playing in the garden, having the freedom to roam on the beach in front of the beach hut. It's literally like a snap shot of my childhood and Sammy is so much like me in personality, I do sometimes worry how the house will be when he's a teenager. I predict some clashes!

We joke about having another baby all the time. Joke being the operative word. It sounds quite ridiculous to say we haven't had time to really think about it and make that definite decision, but we haven't. In a year we've launched a tea business, my photography work has grown beyond all my expectations and this blog has become a firm part of my working life. Not to mention the fact that we have lived in 3 houses in one year!

Then last week we had the pleasure of our little niece for a week. My sister's in laws kindly share her childcare with my mum and as they are away in The Philippines for 5 weeks over Christmas, I am helping mum cover off the time before and after Christmas. 

Suddenly parents to 3!

Yasmin is a delight. Now I know I am biased but it's true. She has the most beautiful colouring thanks to her Filipino grandmother and she has a tone of voice like a little excited mouse. People stopped me in the street, stroked her cheeks in the garden centre and she distracts all the check out staff in the supermarket. 

She has impeccable manners and knows how to use her girlish charm, "Oh peeeeeeassssse Auntie, more snack, more snack!" and I had to be really firm not to give in to her chocolate button, puppy dog eyes every time. 

And it was strange because although toddlers are undoubtedly demanding and tiring, she slipped into our life with ease. I mastered the art of carrying my little shadow on my hip and dressing boys, putting on washing, making dinner. Serving one more at breakfast didn't seem any trickier and watching them all laughing in the car on the way home from school was precious.

She sat with me each morning on the window seat next to me whilst I dried my hair and called to the horseys and the birdies out of the window. 

And it made me realise something. Soft play centres aren't that horrible. They are actually quite fun if you don't spend the whole time reading your phone like I normally do. Ollie adored shooing me onto a quite terrifying slide, Yasmin thought it was hilarious to bury her head in a ball pit and play hide and seek (Even though the rest of her was completely out of the balls!) and they were giddy at me chasing them kicking the footballs. 

A week with 3 made me play more, because work had to stop. When I put her down for an afternoon nap I would race around like a mad woman, setting up little shots to share on my Instagram feed, shooting a few photos for patient clients and replying to work emails. I am in awe of how many with young children at home during the day manage everything! I had grand plans of a little woodland photo shoot for a Christmas surprise for Natalie and Andrew but I literally took one photo on my big camera. ONE! Can you believe it?! 

Being an Auntie means you have the luxury of putting things on hold for a week. I get to do the fun stuff, spoil her, take her out 3 times in a week, just because. And I loved it. I loved that she was totally content at our house. The little bedroom is now set up with all of Sammy's old nursery furniture and pink bunting, which I guess will stay up for the next time she comes to stay and we eventually redecorate that room. 

I had lots of kisses, cuddles, sleepy snuggles at bedtime whilst she drank her milk and the best compliment of all, was when she saw my sister and my brother in law, she wanted them to come in and play, with no worry when my sister left again, after a few hours on her day off in the week. It was like she lived here.

It's an incredibly special thing to know you are trusted with someone else's most precious person.

A week was a long time for her to be away from home (Although Sammy protested that 6 nights wasn't enough!) We have left our boys for a few days and this weekend they are off to their grandparents in Poole for 2 nights, whilst we have Christmas parties with friends. But could you imagine yours being away for a week?

I know my sister and brother in law missed her terribly but I feel very lucky to have developed my little bond with my niece. Feel fortunate to have had had that intimate time with her, kissing her goodnight, hearing her say "I, looove, youuuuuu!"

And it's helped with that definite decision. 3 is lovely. Sammy, Ollie and Yasmin are lovely, and that's the 3 for us. A temporary 3 when we get to borrow a little pink one. But I don't have that broody feeling, instead I feel excited for what will come next. What adventures we can have with the boys now they are out of toddler routines and have an almost unquenchable thirst for life.

It was a treat to slide a clip into her whispy baby hair, and the tutu skirts are incredibly cute, but those are not reasons to have another baby! I was born to be surrounded by boys. Our boys suit us, suit our family dynamic and we are very grateful for them. Now I must go as I need to pop out and buy some slime, sticky slugs that will clime down the wall and something called a putrid pizza. 

But do you know what, I couldn't be happier! Because I know the little faces I will see on Christmas morning are going to be magic.

My only one from our week (bar the few iPhone snaps), a calm, contented, beautiful little girl. Beautiful Yasmin lu.

Linking up with Mummy Daddy Me and The Ordinary Moments