friday confessional - I have sinned

Here goes my first confession to Mamarazzi

Quite pleased I found this link as it’s quite a relief to get these things off my chest.

I confess… I’m about to eat my second takeaway this week. Monday night (that really constitutes another confession) we had an indian delivered and tonight my husband has picked up our new favourite, a noodle box from Tokyo Wok in Weston super Mare.  Oh and a side of vegetable spring rolls and prawn crackers!

I confess… I went to see a friend who has a 9 week old baby boy, totally gorgeous and looked through their amazing newborn photographs (I will suss out the website and post it). We had a long overdue catch up and we talked about our husbands attitudes to having a vasectomy. Her husband is all for it and although would prefer a general he is ready to sign up to finishing any hopes for a larger family as they both agree their beautiful family is complete. My husband is equally as keen to have this, albeit reversible in extreme circumstances, procedure but is so afraid of needles and general “operation stuff” that I can’t foresee a date being booked in, marked on the calendar “snip” anytime soon.

My confession is that whenever people ask me are you going to have anymore children I always say no. Yet I know in the not too distant future I will have more than just an overwhelming urge for another baby. I have 2 incredible boys who are the light and loves of our lives and I know what you might be thinking, don’t be shy, everyone says it, we would be “trying” for a girl.  Of course I have dreamt of having a family that included a daughter. I’ve bought the ELC family jigsaw and in it you match the Mummy, Daddy, Daughter and Son.

My cousin-in-law who is like an older sister to me is expecting her second, a little boy next month and they have an almost 3 year old little girl. I was ecstatic when she said they were expecting a boy as I get to share all my lovely clothes and boy paraphernalia! I also said to her “oh how brilliant one of each so lucky”

I would hate it if anyone thought I was disappointed with my darling small boy because hand on heart I wouldn’t swap him for a pink version. I just can’t imagine not being able to use all my tiny blue things ever again.

I am 99% sure we won’t have anymore children but all the time we have the possibility of conceiving I can’t be 100% certain. A vasectomy would be the end of that 1% hope. 

I believe my destiny was to be Queen of my castle surrounded by loving boys who will hopefully marry wonderful women and I hope I won’t become a wicked mother in law. 

I am one of 3 and always thought I would have 3 of my own, a mixture or all 3 the same! I have the most wonderful relationship with both my sister who is undoubtedly my best friend and my brother who despite living in New Jersey in America is the person I speak to most besides my husband (thank god for Skype). 3 is noisy, fun and chaos and I really want that for my boys, I’m just not confident we will have that. Mind you my boys create enough chaos just the 2 of them!

My husband will probably read this because he follows me on Twitter, even though I’ve said he really doesn’t have to now that I have found some wonderful people who are a tiny weeny bit interested in my ramblings!

I’ll let you know his comment or maybe he’ll post it?!