my mum's 101

I’ve been tagged - hooray!

The very lovely Vikki at mummyscheekymonkey has listed her top 3 Mum’s 101’s inspired by a new link set up Emily at neverboredofbubbles. A top way to share all your ultimate motherhood moans!

So here are mine…

1. Dummies.

My big boy was never interested in a dummy, despite our desperate attempts wiggling it in his mouth at 4am. I had never really understood what a life saver they are until small boy came along.

But they are like your guardian angel and the devil wrapped up in one.

I know we have a period of fiery hell ahead of us when we take it away. The advice from the Health Visitor was they are great, what ever helps you get a nights sleep, but take it away at 6 months. 6 months! Small boy has only started sleeping through at 8 months so why oh why would I take it away now and go back to bags under the eyes that look like you’ve smudged your mascara.

He doesn’t have it in his mouth all day long, really now, only just for sleeping and even then he spits it out once he’s deep in the land of nod.

He’s babbling and saying Mama and bubba so I know it’s not affecting his speech development.

But they really are dirty little things and I can only begin to imagine the horrors that lurk on it. Nowadays it gets “sterilised” in a little pot of boiling water very infrequently compared to the 3 times daily routine when he was little.

But I see children walking into preschool who must be 4 chomping away at what looks like it should have been thrown in a bin 2 years ago.

I have a friend who lied to the dentist because she felt guilty when he asked if her nearly 3 year old still has a dummy. They are quite smart Dentists, did a good few years of training, so know by the shape of the child’s teeth if those rubbery comforters are still in use!

Another friend has started the weaning process and has left her little one with just one dummy and it is now one piece of rubber flapping about like a tongue.

All this makes me so anxious about the day we take small boy’s away. I’ve heard lots of stories about the dummy fairy and posting them off to Father Christmas. But that all sounds rather late on, when they understand that process. I really think I should quit now before he can say dummy and just deal with the tears and broken nights but that liquid gold called sleep is tipping the balance, at least for now!

2. You can’t take tissues to a swimming pool.

Random I know, but bear with me. Why is it that going swimming makes children’s noses run?! Like adults and hot curries. But there is no where for the slimy stuff to go but to be wiped with fingers and float away in the water! Urgh! I know there are all sorts of regulations and the pools have to be kept clean but I’ve seen a lot of gunk coming out of little ones including my own and it instantly makes me want to jump out of the water like someone just let a crocodile loose. Just need a box of tissues on the side and a handy bin. Problem solved.

3. Cheap wet wipes.

They are a complete false economy like washing up liquid and cheap bin bags.

You need twice as many to do a good job, they are either so wet you end up flicking a torrent of perfumed slop all over the place when you battle to get just one out of the packet or they dry up in seconds the minute you peel back the sticker. Cheap wet wipes need to be cared for like expensive cigars and I really haven’t the time to either wait for the wetness to dry or keep putting them back carefully and making sure the label is airtight. Especially considering small boy’s favourite game is to pull as many out as he can and I’m left stuffing them back in.

My advice is to wait until Asda have one of their baby promotion weeks and stock up on the boxes of Johnsons pink, unperfumed wipes, which they have on offer for £5!

Done! Now I tag dearbeautifulboy and cupcakemumma